A woman standing in front of a computer

How I Curb the Urge to Quit

I wouldn’t tell just anyone what I’m about to tell you—and only because we’re like family. At least several times a week I want to quit. Seriously. The thought crosses my mind, and not when things are going great. It’s when I face a challenge: a tough writing assignment, a book deadline, an early morning interview, or a snarky message in my inbox.

woman in despair with head on desk in office setting

The temptation to quit is a recurring theme. And if the voices in my head don’t give me enough trouble, the voices in the culture finish the job. “Quit already! There are so many others with fresher voices better able to reach the younger generation. You deserve a break! Take it easy on yourself, go and enjoy your life.”

This is nothing new. I’ve been dealing with the urge to quit for a long time. I can anticipate its arrival. And because of that, I’ve learned ways to deal with it before it drives me to the brink of resignation.

Self talk

I talk back. Forcefully—with confidence and conviction. I ask myself: Why are you doing this? There are so many other jobs you could be doing that would require less work and less time!

My answer changes frequently. Some days I do this because it brings me a lot of joy and I get to be my own boss. Now and then, I conclude I’m doing this because even though I do work 50 to 60 hours a week, every week, I still enjoy tremendous freedom to choose how and where I put in those hours.

But most of the time, the response is quick, easy, and I’m back on track in no time. It’s because of you. And me. Without you and all of the people who make up this audience, there would be nothing to quit. You’re the reason. And I am the reason, too. I need this as much—if not more—as anyone! It’s my maintenance, my financial sobriety. The work I do every day keeps me on the wagon, out of debt and moving forward.

What I do here every day of my life is the hardest work I have ever done in my life. I can’t say that I’ve done a lot of other jobs, but I once was a process server, serving subpoenas in civil lawsuits to people who absolutely did not want to be served. At night in really bad neighborhoods.

I once had a roster of 52 piano students to whom I gave 30-minute private lessons each week—while at the same time I had two babies under the age of 3. I’ve been more than happily married for 50 years to the same guy, and yes that, too, is hard work.

But this daily gig? While challenging, the benefits are greater than anyone could ever imagine. You are what keeps me on my personal straight and narrow path—this journey to financial freedom. It is truly the best program any recovering overspending addict could hope to have.

Ever feel like you’re almost to the end of your rope, and you just cannot hang on another minute? You’re not alone. Everyone goes through seasons of self-defeat, pain, and anguish.

It’s no wonder that we feel that way. What with the economy, the current state of unemployment, and rising prices—to say nothing of global uncertainty and rumors of economic collapse in daily headlines—it really is enough to make you want to pull the covers up over your head and sleep until everything gets better.

Just so you know, that is not an option. Instead, here are three proactive steps you can take  that will give you the courage to keep going:

1. Verbalize how you feel

I would caution against making this a public dissertation. Write it in journal style where you can keep it private. Tell God how you feel. Say that you are angry and bitter or are afraid to face the day.

However you choose, find a way to pour out your heart. It is cleansing to get it all out because that helps to release swirling negative thoughts. While your situation may not change, how you feel about it will.

2. Accept help from others

You really do not have to go through this by yourself. Once you determine where you are stuck, seek out help.

If you are struggling with credit card debt, for example, go to NFCC.org to find a certified credit counseling organization in your area. Make the call. Ask for help.

If it’s a medical situation where you cannot afford the cost of meds, reach out for help. Simply asking for help is going to guide you to resources you may not know exists.

3. Choose joy

Even when you are at the end of your rope, you still possess something very valuable: Your attitude. You can choose your thoughts.

You can default to pain, fear, and anguish or you can proactively choose joy.

You can focus on all that you do not have and all the stuff that’s coming at you, of you can choose to rise above that and focus on what you do have—even if that is just the air that you breathe. Embrace it. Choose to think only about things that are lovely, true, and good.

No perfect life

I do not personally know anyone who has a perfect life. On the contrary, we’re all on this journey and the road can get rocky from time to time. I’ve come to realize that what I’ve been through can either beat me down and make me bitter, or I can choose my experiences to make a difference in someone else’s life.

Many thanks

So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Thank you for your loyalty, commitment, and diligence in living below your means and affirming the power of discovering new ways to save time and money every day!

Originally published 6-20-20; Updated (I’m still here! ) 1-8-24

 

 

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63 replies
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  1. Lucienne says:

    I always look forward to your emails. I have purchased so many things recommended by you. Thank you for doing all of the leg work for your readers. It’s saves us so much time. Please, please continue to guide us, your faithful and devoted readers.

    Reply
  2. Susan says:

    At age 84 I am still learning from you and often forwarding to my family and friends.
    Your readers love and appreciate you.
    God bless you!

    Reply
  3. Linda says:

    I appreciate all your helpful hints, advice and knowledge. As a matter of fact I recently bought a Shark Vac based on your intel! And I LOVE IT! My husband even loves it too (he’s vacuuming!!),lol. Over the years I’ve come to rely on seeing you in my inbox knowing that I can count on the truth of what you write. That in itself is becoming a rarity. Thank you so much Mary! I can well appreciate the thought pattern to give up, quit and walk away, and maybe you do need a short rest to regenerate but please know how much we value you and hope to see you in the inbox. xo

    Reply
  4. pat briggs says:

    Dear Mary, you are the example of the Proverbs 31 women, so needed in this time in our lives. Quitting is always an available option. Reminding yourself of your value To God, to other women on an everyday basis is the key here. Gratitude for your giftings from the Father & keeping on, keeping on in this battle called life. I am so grateful for all that I have received from you to keep my 64 year marriage going.

    Reply
  5. Betty says:

    I so enjoy reading your your helpful hints and tips every day. I have used so many of them. I also have a folder on my computer to save them in and I refer to them often. I have told so many people about your blog and they have come onboard too. I live in Canada and sometimes we can’t get the same products there or buy some recommended items because they don’t ship to Canada. Even so, there is much much more that we have in common than we are different!

    Reply
  6. Jim Fischer says:

    Something in the way you seem to be on point with all of us every day.
    You are helpful, encouraging and have a gift for telling it like it is, with grace.
    If you think it’s only women you connect with,
    You might be surprised how often you come up with the boys at work.
    Your husband is a lucky man. Jim Fischer

    Reply
  7. Lyrrem says:

    Dear Mary, today, June 20, would have been my 51st wedding anniversary! My dear husband passed away ten years ago, after which I learned about the 10/10/80 system from you which changed my life.
    We always tithed but never had a contingency account so, from the first moment I began paying myself after tithing, I felt able to face the unexpected…
    Thank you for teaching me during the past ten years to live below my means, have money for travel as well as the peace of mind to face unexpected expenses and the ability to bless others. Lyrrem

    Reply
  8. Vivian Ott says:

    I second & third ALL the messages left so far!! Yes, Mary, we do NEED you … daily!! and SO appreciate the fact that you are a Godly woman! Please keep up the good work! (and, I too, have clippings from long ago and paperback books with very yellowed & underlined pages! 😉 LOVE YA, Vivian from NJ

    Reply
  9. Ellen says:

    I appreciate the way you helped me remove emotions from my spending and savings. I like the methodical approach to becoming debt free you shared. The resources you provide, your insight into making logical decisions, and the friendly tips you provide to ensure we don’t overspend for necessities have ALL been life savers! You are a true gem and I’m so thankful I found your Cheapskate Monthly many years ago. The peace of mind you have given me? PRICELESS!

    Reply
  10. Kathy Rutherford says:

    Mary, the job you do is so very important and I believe ordained by our creator. It is so nice to have a godly voice of reason to help us along each day. I look forward to you staying with this job as long as God allows it to be of help to you and to others. I have been gleaning wonderful information from you for years!

    Reply
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