fast food pick up

Help! I’m Too Tired to Cook

/35 Comments/in /by Mary Hunt

Some time ago, I got a letter that took my mind back to the years when our boys were small, and I was too busy, too tired, and too stressed to cook. From her opening words, I could so identify with Carly and the situation she finds herself. 

fast food pick up

 

 

Dear Mary: I know where the money is leaking out of our household: Fast food. We are expecting our fourth child, and I am so bushed at the end of the day, we get take-out two or three times a week. What can I do? It gets to be dinnertime, and out comes the app and the car keys. It’s all I can do to just get through the day. Carly

 

Dear Carly: The last thing you need is someone to tell you to get a grip and plan ahead. So I won’t. Instead, I’m going to tell you what worked for me when I was in your situation (two boys, 17 months apart) and a few things I’ve learned since.

Five-menu rotation

Come up with five simple menus you know your family will eat, one for each night of the week. These don’t have to be gourmet or anything fancy at all. Example: Monday: Spaghetti, salad and bread. Tuesday: Meatloaf, baked potatoes, green beans, and so on. 

Ask your husband to handle one weekend dinner and give it a name like Daddy’s Delicious Dinner or let the kids give it a title.

That leaves one Friday Family Fun Night or some other reason to order in pizza.

Post your weekly menu on the refrigerator. Now, everyone knows what to expect, including you. This will simplify your grocery shopping, too.

As the children get older and you get more courageous you can expand your repertoire and get the kids involved in the kitchen, too. But for now, stick to the five-menu rotation.

Set the table

I know you’ll think this is nutty, but it works. If you have the space, set the dinner table for the next day before you go to bed at night. Waking up to a nicely set table sends a silent message that dinner is so important, we eat around a table—not in front of the TV. And it will help you to start thinking about dinner long before you run out of steam.

Hint: Even a five-year-old can learn to set the table, so delegate.

Shine the sink

I learned this from Marla Cilley, author of Sink Reflections. Before you go to bed, clear out the sink of everything (either wash the dishes or load them in the dishwasher), scrub, rinse well, and then shine it with a towel. Five minutes to a new attitude.

There really is something magical about waking up in the morning to an empty, clean, and shining sink, no matter what condition the rest of the house is in.

World’s most important profession

Surely there’s no more important or difficult job in the entire world than being a mom to four young children. And nothing more rewarding. Make dinnertime an anchor in your day now while your kids are young. The tradition will come back to bless you as your children get older.

Even though they may never tell you, dinnertime together will become something your family knows they can count on in an otherwise uncertain world. So enjoy these precious days and take it from me: It gets easier.

 

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35 replies
  1. JANET SCHEN says:

    I buy hamburger at Costco, or at the grocery store when it is half price because it is the last day. I take it home and brown all of it, rinse to remove grease, and then put 1 cup of the cooked meat in freezer bags until it is all bagged. So easy to make dinner when the meat is already cooked. Also when my kids were little we would do what we called leftover stew. I’d take all the leftovers and heat in a pan then serve it over rice or toasted bread or mashed potatoes. They loved it. And we didn’t waste anything.

    Reply
  2. Pat says:

    Some years ago women assembled recipes that used the same meat for a number of meals; ie hamburger, roasted chicken, beef roast, pork chops etc. Multiple meals were assembled all on one day. All family members who could help did. There could be three meals of the same hamburger crockpot recipe. Or three different hamburger recipes. Cook hamburger just once. Roasted chicken was used in recipes then leftovers in soup etc. Pork chops could be fried for a number of meals.these meals are frozen and tken taken out of the freezer as desired. Some made a big production and only did this one Saturday a month. Not for everyone

    Reply
  3. Nadine Peters says:

    I recently read of a young family eating by candlelight and how everyone enjoyed the setting and the youngsters ate their meal so peacefully. No running around or fighting at the table!! The mother was so impressed by the successful meal.

    Reply
  4. jd wolfe says:

    stir fry is an overlooked way to a quick meal – especially if you prep ahead. cut meat and veggies into bit sized pieces. no wok is required. heat skillet to med-high heat and have some oil in it – not too much. throw in root veggies and stir for a couple minutes, then softer veggies and meat. finally throw in rice and/or pasta – any COOKED rice or pasta will do. one of our faves is just garlic and onion with whatever veggies and meat, then peanuts and spaghetti and sprinkle with shredded parmesan. this works well with any leftover veggies/meat also.
    ALSO – SLICE bagels, or older bread, smear with some butter, sprinkle with garlic salt (or not), spoon with a bit of leftover veggie/meat (this uses up EVERYTHING IN THE FRIG), top with some shredded cheese and pop under the broiler or toaster oven until heated thru. my kids will eat anything prepared on a bagel this way – even food they dislike. just name it something else interesting. we clean out the frig on fridays with this method.

    Reply
  5. Margie M Shapira says:

    Hi Mary,

    Me again. I just want to thank you for a great suggestion w/leftover pizza. And you were absolutely right: it tastes just like fresh. We sometimes get a pizza from our local Harris Teeter on mondays when it’s 8.99 and it’s huge. You had a “recipe” to reheat on the stove for 8 or so minutes on low and covered. ours takes about 14 minutes (now that we do it right, LOL) and it’s fabulous. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! and it’s 2-4 lunches during the week so very economical and no effort!! We love you!!

    Reply
  6. Linda Radosevich says:

    My job as a kid was washing the dinner dishes so we had a clean sink in the morning. My paternal grandmother had six kids and used the repeated meals – my aunt and uncles said you could tell what day of the week it was by what was for dinner. Sundays were roasts or fried chicken. AND she baked all of their bread, even hamburger buns! Go Gramma!

    Reply
  7. Dottie says:

    Single mom, 3 kids, work, school, ALL maint by myself — My plan was Sunday afternoon (after church) I would often cook for most of the week. As above, mainly soups, stews, casseroles and crock pot ingredients. One night was always leftovers to clean the fridge which the kids loved as they could pick what they wanted. One night a month we would go out for dinner – sit down but simple – and when young they could often share a meal to keep expense down, but wanted them to have the experience of restaurant manners, tipping, budgeting so “water all around” (I was often broke and needed to save for that). One big thing that helped – purchased subscription to “Taste of Home” so the kids could choose what they wanted to try and eat w/o complaint at least once. Gave me ideas, grocery list, and excited family.

    Reply
  8. Cathy down on the farm... says:

    A thought for Fridays is to also buy frozen pizzas at the store when you grocery shop and keep them on hand. Many of these are cheaper than take out and sometimes just as good! You can always doctor them up in minutes with more cheese, oregano, etc. Pop in the oven for 20 minutes! Fast food without the cost!

    Reply
  10. Kathy says:

    Having a simple 4-week meal rotations saved our sanity & wallet when raising 3 active sons while both of us worked full time. All 3 had different sensory issues, so I had to get creative while also not cooking different meals. Every meal had at least 2 items each son would like. No crockpots for us, as 1 could not tolerate food touching much less mixed together. We ate in the dining room on weekends, using tablecloth & good china. Mon-Fri meals were eaten at our kitchen table. Here is what we did for probably 20 years:

    Saturday — roast + all fixings
    Sunday — different roast with all fixings
    Monday — something with chicken breasts
    Tuesday — Saturday leftovers
    Wednesday — either BBQ or something with grind beef
    Thursday — Sunday leftovers
    Friday — cereal or a breakfast-type meal (I did not cook on Friday)

    Simple, easy meals & all were fed.

    Reply
  11. Mimi Theresia says:

    I came up with my own formula in that each day of the week had a designated category. Monday casserole, Tuesday breakfast, and so on with Saturday pizza, Sunday pasta. I then took 13 index cards and filled them in with the foods I knew my family would eat in each of those categories. Those cards rotated 4 times a year so I had an entire year’s meals planned and my brain would not explode. Life became so much easier, shopping wasn’t a nightmare and the meals could be adjusted as needed (holidays, birthdays, etc). Now as retirees I make several meals at a time (crockpot is my best friend still) & freeze in portion sized bags. Heat em and eat em. Only have to cook once a month. Just add salad, rice, bread, whatever. No muss no fuss.

    Reply
  12. Diane @smartmoneysimplelife says:

    I agree with the limited menu. It’s really helped me in the past and has an incredible impact on your stress levels. It’s even better if they’re mains you can double so there’s a meal in the freezer for emergencies. Plus, don’t forget, scrambled eggs on toast can be dinner, too. 🙂

    Reply
  13. Barbara Bates-Davis says:

    I had two young children under 10 and a husband who wanted my time. I was working part time 5 days a week in the mornings, teaching 2 adult ed sewing classes during the afternoon, and 2 adult ed classes at night. Going to all weekend classes for a teaching credential, a mid week history class. . .I had 15 hours a week to cook, clean, laundry, etc. The only thing that worked for me was to cook tomorrows dinner tonight, reheat what I cooked the night before. I even made my own sourdough bread, if you can believe this. A limited menu of favorites would have been really a nice thing to know. Maybe this will help Anara

    Reply
  14. Jenn says:

    There are so many resources for solo cooking! Just google “cooking for one” and you’ll find tons of them. Here are a couple:
    http://greatist.com/health/healthy-single-serving-meals
    http://www.pbs.org/food/theme/cooking-for-one/

    When I was in college someone gave me a cookbook called “Cooking for One or Two”. It was a great way to learn lots of small recipes. I like leftovers for lunch but cannot stand eating something for days on end. The key is to learn how to use your leftovers in new ways in order to avoid boredome and waste. Grilled chicken goes into a salad. Leftover veggies get added to broth & become soup – pureed is awesome!

    Good luck!

    Reply
  15. Anara says:

    When son was a baby, he went through a phase every afternoon that I called the Witching Hour – a meltdowny, clingy phase that had nothing to do with naps or nutrition. I started prepping and sometimes cooking dinner in the morning so I wasn’t so overwhelmed in the afternoons. I’d wash and prep as many veggies as I could, cook or debone a chicken, make any sauces or spreads, sear meat on the grill to finish in the oven later, etc. Eight years later, I am still doing morning dinner prep because I have more energy at that time and because it frees me up for home work help. It also lets me plan what he can help with.
    I also double prep – some entrees, like lasagna, burgers, meat loaf, pancakes, French toast, and enchiladas are perfect for this! I brown twice as much hamburger or sausage that I need, seasoned with salt and pepper, onion, and garlic. Half goes into the freezer, the other half into that night’s meal (with any extra seasonings the dish calls for). Make sure your ground meat is cool, pat off excess grease, and put a paper towel in a freezer bag to absorb any more grease as it freezes. Cooking ahead helps take the sting out of clean up!
    For the single person, I would recommend fixing your proteins/entrees ahead of time and freezing a few small batches because those take the most time. Plan around your proteins. E.g. a half batch of spaghetti one night (you can freeze the unused sauce and dry pasta) then use the rest of the pound of meat to make a couple burgers or chili another night. Look online for meal plans around a whole rotis chicken for an example of this type of planning. You can home “flash freeze” fruits for smoothies and chopped veggies for cooking. Pick some favorite meals or foods and research how to freeze the most common ingredients that you will be using. You can also team up with one or more like minded friends, split the grocery costs and make ahead some meals together, and package them up in one or two meal portions. One or two entrees a week will make a big difference in how well you eat and how much you save on food.

    Reply
  16. Claudia S says:

    Dear Mary – My first time writing you but a post today – What do you need to be Happy? asked for readers thoughts. My husband & I are 68 so I’m sure we might think different on what would made us happy than the younger group, but our happiness would be good health. We are fortunate to have the money that we can live with & no mortgage or car payments.
    I enjoy reading your column and we also had our struggles with money when we were in our 20’s & 30’s and couldn’t pay our bills. Our first grocery shopping trip together we still laugh about 48 years later. My husband was in the army in OK. and after we walked to the grocery store and spent our grocery money we ended up with mostly “junk” food. When we got back home (and very hungry) we found out we couldn’t make a meal. I think my husband ate on base until we had money again for real food – I can’t remember what I ate. Claudia S. from Minnesota

    Reply
  17. skye says:

    Default quick dinner in our house is breakfast. I usualy have a smidgen of leftover veggies in the fridge, a little grated cheese, alkthat gets mixed into scrambled eggs. Slice and qick fry a couple potatoes, toss bread in toaster. Done. Every time i make a batch of soup, stew, chili, beans and rice, dal, etc, i make a double batch and freeze half. There is always something in the freezer. If all else fails, pita bread pizza is a quick standby.

    Reply
  18. Chelle says:

    I use the slow cooker and plan ahead sometimes. Sometimes I get busy and forget to plan. I also cook enough to have leftovers and we do eat them. Southernplate.com has some great easy recipes that might help. Enlist kids help if they are old enough and definitely try to get your husband involved. Make it a family job. It will teach them skills for later. Kids grow up fast. Enjoy every day. Believe me, I am now at that point.

    Reply
  19. Alaskan girl says:

    I’ve heard of baby showers where everyone brings a main dish in a disposable container. The Mom-to-be goes home with many meals in her freezer. (Tell one of your friends that you’d like this and they can run with it.)

    Reply
  20. CaKate says:

    I do enjoy your ‘column’ – However, I’d like to add that Rachel Ray (Food Network.com) has a show “week in a day” where you cook 5 meals in one day. The recipes are easy, inexpensive and freezable. All Recipes.com is also a source for cook ahead meals. What about the crockpot? Another tool to cook ahead. Also, maybe she could involve her family in the process of meal planning and/or cooking the meal in advance. I do understand that if at the end of the day the woman of the house is exhausted, she isn’t physically up to cooking, but what of the other members of the household. (pardon) Are they without arms? Put them to work, a house hold is a TEAM effort. (pardon my rant) but I just get so mad when I hear of a woman who is expected to do the impossible. IE: work for a living and then keep the house, cook the meals, do the washing, etc. I’m blessed, my husband helps with the cooking and the cleaning, and I tell him how grateful and blessed I am everyday.

    Reply
  21. Akuarose says:

    I had to laugh at the suggestion to set the table for the next day’s dinner! We eat at our table 3 times a day, and use it for other things in between meals. The kitchen table is a busy place in our house. We have been blessed with 3 young ones, and I find it helps to get them involved in meals where possible. They can pull apart lettuce for salads. I have let them cut up peppers with a scissors rather than a knife. By letting them help, it does multiple things. It gives you some help, yes,only a little at first, but it grows as they do; it gives precious time together. They learn about foods. And more. We try to eat simply, which helps a lot. I have a big electric roaster. One Saturday I made a BIG batch of cheesburger soup, and once it cooled some I put it in gallon ziplock freezer bags and into the freezer. So easy to pull a bag out in the morning and just heat it up in the evening. Another favorite is when we make black beans and rice. First meal we have rice and beans with a salad. I always cook too much, on purpose. After dinner, when the food is cooled down, I mix the leftover rice and beans together, sometimes adding some salsa, and spread the table with tortillas. I put the R&B mixture on, the children sprinkle shredded cheese on, and then I wrap them like burritos. I make enough of these that we can have a pan full a day or so later, and another pan for the freezer. So by cooking a pot of rice and one of beans, we easily get 3 meals out of it.
    There are also multiple easy recipes on pinterest if you simply type in freezer meals.

    Reply
  22. ConnieBC says:

    Using the slow cooker helps but I find the thing that really helps when I don’t feel like cooking is having extras in the freezer to heat up in the microwave. I try to double a recipe when I can and freeze the extras. Things like chili, spagetti, soup or even roast beef/chicken and mashed potatoes. Frozen into individual serving sizes then everyone can pick what they want. It’s our fast food night.

    Reply
  23. eveh says:

    I find if I have a category for each day it helps.

    Sunday……crockpot, this is always easy recipes like roast plus jar of peppercinni peppers, juice and all. 2 ingred but so good. Good bread, salad
    Monday…..Soup in Winter, Cold plate in Summer with chicken, tuna, ham not just green, cheese, olives + fruit……that sort of thing. We like melon in summer
    Tuesday….wrap or taco day…….I cook up SAMs frozen thighs or breast ahead of time and keep in fridge to use for this and use leftovers next day for rice.
    Wednesday…chicken and rice….I use boneless, skinnless from SAMs club
    Thursday….pasta day….we actually like ramen noodles or egg noodles, spag, etc Add meat if you like it. I eat mine with tons of butter and some kind of cheese.
    Friday….Fish day…frozen, breaded quickie like filets, fish sticks, grotons or mrs Paul’s. We like French fries with this, especially sweet pot fries, again frozen from SAMs.
    Saturday we eat out or have homemade hamburgers or sandwiches from Deli meat not mass package stuff.
    You are not set on what you put in each dish but just knowing I’m having Fish today reminds

    Reply
  24. NC says:

    Excellent advice, Mary. I did something similar, with a list of meals that everyone liked, and rotated them. It doesn’t have to be fancy, but sitting down together to eat is something you will not regret doing.

    Reply
  25. JuanitaS says:

    My problem is that I’m tired of cooking. I used to love it but lately is has become a chore especially when trying to make something everybody will eat. You keep making the same things to save time and keep the household happy. I have crockpots – I use them all the time.

    Reply
  26. Elizabeth says:

    I have a large family (7 kids) and I know what you are going through! But, we never eat fast food and this is how we manage to cook every night: Slowcooker – all the work is done early in the day before you are tired. Look for recipes without a lot of browning/chopping/etc. Casseroles – many can be assembled early in the day or the night before. Lunch for dinner – As long as all the food groups are on their plates, does it matter if you have sandwiches and mini-carrots at 5pm? “Back of the box” recipes – Use semi-convenience products like canned soup, flavoured rice, to stretch a boring meat. It’s still healthier and cheaper than take out. Avoid “30 minute recipes” – Most of these require you to stand there chopping, sautéing, and stirring for 30+ minutes. Look for recipes that you stick in the oven and forget about. Cook enough for two meals – I love chilli, spaghetti sauce and soup, because it is really easy to double up and make two nights supper at once.

    I hope you this helps and everything works out for you and your family!

    Reply
  27. SaveYourself says:

    I can go one better with the crockpot suggestion…..go to GoodWill and buy a second crockpot. Choose your “cooking” day, then load one crockpot with chicken, the other with hamburger or roast, etc. After it’s cooked and cooled, divide the meats into serving portions in freezer bags. Voila! Meat for the week! My biggest challenge was always getting meat thawed & cooked in time for dinner. And definitely freeze the broths!

    Reply
  28. Jenny says:

    Definitely agree with the crockpot suggestion! When the weather gets nice, my husband barbecues at least twice a week which leads to a much easier cleanup. Vegetables can be cooked on the BBQ, too!

    Reply
  29. Dawn says:

    The dinner routine is my biggest regret now that my boys are 18 and 22. As a single parent family we just fell into a bad routine. Now that the time has passed I see how we missed the opportunity to connect that was and is very important. It’s tough – but don’t let the daily struggle take away some of the most significant bonding time with your family.

    Reply
  30. Sharon says:

    Load the crockpot with chicken breasts, bone in with the skin pulled off. Season and eat that with something simple tonight; it tastes like rotisserie chicken w/out the slimy skin. Save the broth and the chicken to make other meals–chicken pot pie, spaghetti, dumplings, enchiladas. Best time saver I’ve found!

    Reply
  31. Knitting Again says:

    When I had kids at home and a full time job, I cooked double meals. One for the table, and one for the freezer. Too tired to cook nights I just pulled from the freezer instead of fast food.

    Reply
    • Lorna says:

      This was my suggestion too. Meatloaf, raw, can be baked right from the freezer. It just takes a few more minutes in the oven. I also purchased aluminum foil pans which I washed and reused until I felt they had done their last meal. The point is that I had dedicated pieces for the frozen meal. A thrift store item would work also.

      I also make up mixes of my own, cornbread, dry ingredients for cookies. I have a ten year old who likes to help with this. I write on the label the temp. and time and the amount of wet ingredients. Reuse plastic food grade bags for the same item and you will save time writing the next time you have a mix making session.

      Reply
  32. Diane Hildom-Spangler says:

    I’ve been using the empty sink routine for a while now, with the addition of the cleared table and the made bed. Amazing how everything else starts to fall into place. Good attitude instead of depressed. It’s how you eat an elephant….or move a mountain: one spoonful at a time.

    Reply

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