A woman standing in front of a computer

How I Curb the Urge to Quit

/Updated /63 Comments/in /by Mary Hunt

I wouldn’t tell just anyone what I’m about to tell you—and only because we’re like family. At least several times a week I want to quit. Seriously. The thought crosses my mind, and not when things are going great. It’s when I face a challenge: a tough writing assignment, a book deadline, an early morning interview, or a snarky message in my inbox.

woman in despair with head on desk in office setting

The temptation to quit is a recurring theme. And if the voices in my head don’t give me enough trouble, the voices in the culture finish the job. “Quit already! There are so many others with fresher voices better able to reach the younger generation. You deserve a break! Take it easy on yourself, go and enjoy your life.”

This is nothing new. I’ve been dealing with the urge to quit for a long time. I can anticipate its arrival. And because of that, I’ve learned ways to deal with it before it drives me to the brink of resignation.

Self talk

I talk back. Forcefully—with confidence and conviction. I ask myself: Why are you doing this? There are so many other jobs you could be doing that would require less work and less time!

My answer changes frequently. Some days I do this because it brings me a lot of joy and I get to be my own boss. Now and then, I conclude I’m doing this because even though I do work 50 to 60 hours a week, every week, I still enjoy tremendous freedom to choose how and where I put in those hours.

But most of the time, the response is quick, easy, and I’m back on track in no time. It’s because of you. And me. Without you and all of the people who make up this audience, there would be nothing to quit. You’re the reason. And I am the reason, too. I need this as much—if not more—as anyone! It’s my maintenance, my financial sobriety. The work I do every day keeps me on the wagon, out of debt and moving forward.

What I do here every day of my life is the hardest work I have ever done in my life. I can’t say that I’ve done a lot of other jobs, but I once was a process server, serving subpoenas in civil lawsuits to people who absolutely did not want to be served. At night in really bad neighborhoods.

I once had a roster of 52 piano students to whom I gave 30-minute private lessons each week—while at the same time I had two babies under the age of 3. I’ve been more than happily married for 50 years to the same guy, and yes that, too, is hard work.

But this daily gig? While challenging, the benefits are greater than anyone could ever imagine. You are what keeps me on my personal straight and narrow path—this journey to financial freedom. It is truly the best program any recovering overspending addict could hope to have.

Ever feel like you’re almost to the end of your rope, and you just cannot hang on another minute? You’re not alone. Everyone goes through seasons of self-defeat, pain, and anguish.

It’s no wonder that we feel that way. What with the economy, the current state of unemployment, and rising prices—to say nothing of global uncertainty and rumors of economic collapse in daily headlines—it really is enough to make you want to pull the covers up over your head and sleep until everything gets better.

Just so you know, that is not an option. Instead, here are three proactive steps you can take  that will give you the courage to keep going:

1. Verbalize how you feel

I would caution against making this a public dissertation. Write it in journal style where you can keep it private. Tell God how you feel. Say that you are angry and bitter or are afraid to face the day.

However you choose, find a way to pour out your heart. It is cleansing to get it all out because that helps to release swirling negative thoughts. While your situation may not change, how you feel about it will.

2. Accept help from others

You really do not have to go through this by yourself. Once you determine where you are stuck, seek out help.

If you are struggling with credit card debt, for example, go to NFCC.org to find a certified credit counseling organization in your area. Make the call. Ask for help.

If it’s a medical situation where you cannot afford the cost of meds, reach out for help. Simply asking for help is going to guide you to resources you may not know exists.

3. Choose joy

Even when you are at the end of your rope, you still possess something very valuable: Your attitude. You can choose your thoughts.

You can default to pain, fear, and anguish or you can proactively choose joy.

You can focus on all that you do not have and all the stuff that’s coming at you, of you can choose to rise above that and focus on what you do have—even if that is just the air that you breathe. Embrace it. Choose to think only about things that are lovely, true, and good.

No perfect life

I do not personally know anyone who has a perfect life. On the contrary, we’re all on this journey and the road can get rocky from time to time. I’ve come to realize that what I’ve been through can either beat me down and make me bitter, or I can choose my experiences to make a difference in someone else’s life.

Many thanks

So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Thank you for your loyalty, commitment, and diligence in living below your means and affirming the power of discovering new ways to save time and money every day!

Originally published 6-20-20; Updated (I’m still here! ) 1-8-24

 

 

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63 replies
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  1. Candy Strader says:

    Mary, you are one of the hardest working people in the blogosphere. Perhaps you could reduce your workload. Maybe we don’t need a post every day, including holidays. I would be fine with Monday-Friday posts. Speaking for myself, I would prefer fewer posts than no posts. Keep up the great work. You really are a treasure.

    Reply
  3. Linda Radosevich says:

    Mary, thank you for being you! I keep a file of your daily emails so I can quickly look up what I want to refer to…sure, I could go to your website, but…there you are, right in my Inbox! We all have those days, weeks, maybe even months of wanting to throw in the towel, but you have become essential not only to me, but to many, many others. Hang in there!

    Reply
  4. Lynda Anderson says:

    Mary, I must tell you how much you’ve inspired me throughout the years. I’ve told countless people about your website. I have yet to have a discussion with a person, man or woman, where I didn’t mention your name. I’ve always wanted to come to an event of yours but that is a dream of mine. After my husband died in the line of duty I’ve depended on you to guide me and keep me accountable. I got out of debt and I became a more satisfied person because of it. My husband now is all on board with your message, your “calling” really. Through valleys is sometimes where we learn our real destiny and gifts from the Lord. God Bless You and your family and I will say, do Gods Will even though that may mean losing your voice in my life but anything out of His will would be a bad idea. He will give you your strength and joy. Nothing can ever take that away, not even a dark valley. Believe me I know this to be true!

    Reply
  5. Kim Davison says:

    Thanks for sharing your story. While very few of us face the same issues you do, I am sure we all want to quit from time to time. Thank you for what you do!

    Reply
  7. Alba says:

    I look forward to your newsletter every morning❣️
    You share your life skills with all of us, and you share from your heart ~ it shows!! And we all love you!

    Reply
  8. Shelly says:

    Dear Mary,
    Thank you for your years of service. Yours is a legacy that will never be fully measured. I, like many others, have benefited greatly from your research, writing, and guidance. After using your Rapid Debt Repayment plan to become debt-free myself, I have recommended it to many friends and family members. I even “coach” people through how to use it, helping them set it up and being an accountability partner for them as they make their way through the process. I read your email every day, and just like your readers are your financial sobriety plan, you are mine! I give your book, “Debt Proof Your Marriage,” as an engagement gift, and “Raising Financially Confident Kids” to new parents. I’m proud to say my financially confident daughter is buying her first home at age 25. You taught me how to teach her. You share in such a straight forward, common sense way that people of all ages can hear your message. The ripple effect of your work is generational, and I wouldn’t know what to do without you! Your gift of communication makes all of us feel like we’re sitting at your kitchen table sharing a coffee and a chat! I love how God took a challenge in your life and in His healing made it a gift to all of us. I will always be thankful for you! Keep up the good work and know you are so appreciated and loved by all of us.

    Reply
  9. Jen says:

    Mary, this post made me reflect on my own job. I tutor high school students, and it is one of the most rewarding jobs I have ever had. Yet every day, those voices you referred to try to tell me that it’s too hard and that I’m too tired and what I’m doing doesn’t make a difference. But I know that what I do does make a difference. It’s hard to see it sometimes, because my students don’t always show gratitude or give feedback. But I know it’s there; I absolutely know I am making a difference in helping them. I think you are the same way in your job, because you reach many who never say thank you or provide feedback on how much you help them. Anything offered freely like that will always have recipients who don’t express gratitude; however, that doesn’t mean that you’re not helping and making a difference in people’s lives. I believe we will someday find out, perhaps not until our interview with the Lord, exactly how much difference we made, and that moment will be full of wonder and amazement at the shear numbers of those who we helped and guided. You hang in there and keep doing what brings you joy. I have been reading you for decades, and you’re always my go-to for down-to-earth money management. I have also been one who has benefited from your wisdom and not said thank you. So may I say here today, Thank you for all your efforts to help us manage our money more wisely and be more frugal!

    Reply
  10. Marianne Corrigan says:

    It’s how and why information is delivered that makes the difference. Your appeal is your God given personality and the openness from your past experiences that has built my trust in you. Your a great virtual neighbor that always seems to have timely tips and advise when you start up a conversation. Keep ignoring those voices; they always get louder when you’re doing something right!

    Reply
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