What Is Frugal Living? It’s Probably Not What You Think

Frugal living has a reputation problem. Mention it and people picture deprivation, cheap stuff and driving across town to save a nickel. That’s not my kind of frugal. To me, frugal living means wasting less on what doesn’t matter so you have more for what does. I learned that lesson the hard way, and it changed far more than our bank account.

Mention “frugal living” and a certain picture shows up.

Reusing tea bags. Wearing three sweaters because turning up the heat might cost 47 cents. Driving across town to save a nickel on bananas.

No wonder frugal living has a reputation problem. But that’s not what I mean by frugal. Not even close.

To me, frugal living means being smart and intentional with the money, time and resources you’ve got. It’s figuring out what matters to you, spending on it gladly, and becoming quite unwilling to waste money on everything else.

That’s a very different way to live. And I learned it the hard way.

I wasn’t always frugal

Once upon a time, I used credit cards to cover the gap between my husband’s paycheck and the lifestyle I was sure we deserved. You can probably guess how well that worked out.

Eventually, our financial house of cards collapsed. We were four months behind on our mortgage, facing foreclosure and buried under more than $100,000 in credit-card debt. I had to admit something that wasn’t easy: I knew very little about managing money.

So I started learning.

My first experiment wasn’t glamorous. I made a rule that I would buy groceries with cash. No checks. No plastic.

Suddenly I noticed prices. I paid attention to what went into the cart because there was only so much cash in my hand. I started looking for ways to get everything we needed and still walk out with money left over.

And you know what? I liked it. Saving a little felt like a win. That win gave me confidence. Confidence made me want to try something else.

Then something else. Over the next 13 years, my husband and I paid back every dime of that enormous credit-card debt, including interest and fees, with no concessions. In 2014, we paid off our mortgage, too.

But somewhere along the way, something else happened. Frugality quit feeling like something I had to do. It became something I wanted to do.

So what is frugal living, really?

Frugal living is choosing to use your money and resources carefully so you can spend less than you earn and have more available for the things that matter.

Notice I didn’t say “spend as little as humanly possible.” There’s a difference.

The cheapest option isn’t always the frugal one. A $20 pair of shoes that falls apart in six months is no bargain next to a $75 pair you’ll happily wear for years.

And doing without something you truly value just so you can say you didn’t spend the money? That’s not my idea of winning, either.

Frugality asks a better question: Is this worth what it costs me?

Sometimes the answer is a big yes. Sometimes it’s a resounding no. Learning to tell the difference is where things get interesting.

Isn’t frugal just a fancy word for cheap?

Nope. Cheap looks at the price tag. Frugal looks at the value.

A cheap decision can save you money today and cost you more tomorrow. Frugal people learn to consider quality, usefulness, how long something will last and how often they’ll really use it.

That’s why I don’t have a rule that says you should always buy the cheapest version, always shop used or never splurge on a luxury. Life is too short for that kind of misery.

The goal is not to spend the least. The goal is to waste the least.

That goes for money, food, household supplies, possessions and (while we’re at it) your time.

But doesn’t frugal mean doing without?

This might be the biggest myth of all. And I’d argue good frugality works the opposite way.

When you stop frittering money away on stuff you barely notice, there’s more left for what you love.

Travel. Good food. Hobbies. Giving. A comfortable home. Time with people you love. Getting out of debt. Sleeping well because the bills are paid.

Your list won’t look exactly like mine. It shouldn’t.

Frugality gives you room to decide what your rich life looks like instead of handing that job to every advertiser, subscription service and impulse buy that comes along.

Where does the money go?

Here’s one of the first things I learned: money has a remarkable talent for disappearing when nobody’s watching. Not necessarily in one spectacular shopping spree, either. A little here. A little there.

Food that spoils before you eat it. A subscription you forgot you had. “Convenience” purchases that aren’t all that convenient. Something you grabbed on sale that you never needed in the first place.

Individually? No big deal. Together? They can gobble up a shocking amount of money.

So if you’re new to this, please don’t try to overhaul your whole life by Tuesday. Just start by noticing.

5 frugal living tips to help you get started

1. Find out where your money is going

Look back over the last month or two of spending.

You don’t need seventeen categories and a fancy spreadsheet. Start with the basics: housing, food, transportation, bills, debt and everything else.

You’re hunting for patterns, not building a case for the prosecution. What are you paying for that you don’t use, need or particularly enjoy?

There’s your starting point.

• MORE: How to Make a Budget Without Losing Your Mind

2. Put some cushion between you and the next emergency

Cars break. Appliances quit. Teeth misbehave. Life has never shown much respect for a carefully planned budget.

Even a small contingency fund can keep a surprise expense from immediately turning into new credit-card debt.

Start with what you can. Then keep going.

• MORE: How to Build a $1,000 Emergency Fund When Money Is Already Tight

3. Take a hard look at expenses that repeat

One small purchase won’t make or break your financial life. But something you overpay for every week or every month? That deserves your attention.

Take a fresh look at groceries, insurance, phone service, internet, memberships and subscriptions. Cancel what you’re not using. Compare prices. Ask whether it’s still worth what you’re paying.

Savings that repeat have a lovely habit of, well, repeating.

4. Use what you already have

This might be the least exciting habit I’ve ever recommended. It’s also one of the best.

Shop the pantry before the grocery store. Finish the shampoo before opening another bottle. Check the garage before buying another tool. Wear what you own. Eat the leftovers.

We’ve already paid for this stuff. We might as well get our money’s worth.

5. Put a little space between wanting and buying

You don’t have to turn every purchase into a congressional hearing. Just slow things down.

If you don’t need it right now, give it a day or two. Once the thrill fades, you may find you don’t want it nearly as much as you thought.

And if you still do? Now you’re making a decision instead of reacting to an impulse.

• MORE: 13 Frugal Habits That Don’t Feel Frugal at All

What does frugal living look like in real life?

Surprisingly ordinary:

• Planning meals around what’s already in the house and what’s on sale.
• Learning that some household cleaners cost pennies to make.
• Fixing something before automatically replacing it.
• Buying used when used makes sense and new when it doesn’t.
• Taking care of your things so they last.
• Checking the unit price instead of assuming the biggest package is the deal.
• Borrowing the thing you’ll use once instead of buying one more object you’ll have to store forever.

And sometimes it’s cheerfully paying more for the thing you really want because you’ve saved money everywhere you didn’t care. That’s frugal living, too.

Don’t try to become frugal overnight

This is where enthusiasm gets us in trouble.

You discover frugal living and suddenly you’re going to slash the grocery bill, cancel every subscription, make your own laundry detergent, grow tomatoes, learn upholstery and never eat out again. By Thursday you’re exhausted.

Pick one thing.

Mine was groceries. Maybe yours is finally going through the subscriptions. Or planning dinners before you shop. Or instituting a waiting period before online purchases.

Get one new habit humming. Then add another.

Small wins matter because they prove something big: you can change this.

A few frugal mistakes worth skipping

Don’t buy junk just because it’s cheap. Replacing it three times isn’t a bargain.

Don’t spend three hours to save 50 cents unless those three hours happen to be tremendously entertaining.

Don’t cut the things you love first. You’ll be miserable, and you’ll probably quit.

And don’t confuse shopping with saving money. Buying something you don’t need for 60% off did not save you 60%. I know. That one hurts.

The best part of frugal living

For me, the biggest surprise wasn’t how much money we eventually saved. It was how much confidence I gained.

Every problem I learned to solve, every bill we paid off, every expense I learned to shrink made me feel a little less helpless about money.

That’s why Everyday Cheapskate has never been about deprivation. It’s about resourcefulness.

It’s knowing that before you throw something away, buy something new or assume a bill can’t budge, you can stop and ask: Is there a better way?

Sometimes there isn’t. Quite often, there is. And finding it can be ridiculously satisfying.

Frugal living questions

What’s the difference between frugal and cheap?

Being cheap is primarily about paying the lowest possible price. Being frugal is about getting the best value for your money. Sometimes that’s the least expensive option. Sometimes paying more now saves money, time or aggravation later.

Do I need to be in debt to benefit from frugal living?

Not at all. Frugality isn’t a financial emergency measure. It’s a way to make better use of whatever income you have. The less you waste, the more you can save, give, invest or spend on things you truly value.

Does frugal living mean giving up everything fun?

Please don’t.

A frugal life should make room for what you love. Cut ruthlessly where you don’t care, so you can spend confidently where you do.

How much money can frugal living save?

Honestly? There’s no one-size-fits-all number. It depends on your income, your expenses and where the money’s slipping away right now.

Instead of chasing an impressive savings figure, find one expense you can cut for good. Then another. Those changes begin to stack up.

Start where you are

You don’t need to become a different person to live more frugally. And you certainly don’t have to start reusing tea bags.

Look for one place where your money isn’t doing much for you and make a better choice. Keep the money. Put it toward something that matters. Then do it again.

That’s frugal living.

And around here, we’ve been doing it one little win at a time for a very long time.

Question: What’s one thing you happily spend money on, and one thing you absolutely refuse to waste money on? Tell me in the comments.

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