tangled christmas lights what we really want for christma

Is This What We Really Want for Christmas This Year?

/7 Comments/in , , /by Mary Hunt

December has a way of showing up at full speed. Before we know it, we’re knee-deep in bows, schedules, and expectations—some ours, some inherited, and a few nobody remembers agreeing to. Some years I’ve reached January feeling grateful. Other years… well, let’s just say my energy matched the tree waiting at the curb. Here’s what I’ve learned: the best Christmas seasons aren’t the busiest ones. They’re the ones we simplify. So today, I’m sharing four things most of us truly want for Christmas. No sprinting, overspending, or holiday overwhelm required.

tangled christmas lights what we really want for christma

Remember the old game show Supermarket Sweep? Contestants had a cart, a timer, and one goal: grab the highest-value groceries before the buzzer—not the most, just the best.

Christmas can feel a lot like that. The season starts, the timer runs, and suddenly we’re racing: shopping, cooking, mailing, hosting, wrapping, planning. Some traditions mean something. Others… well, we’re not sure how they ended up in the cart, but there they are.

And the pressure is real. Nearly nine in ten adults say the holidays bring stress. Money tops the list, followed by finding the right gifts, navigating family dynamics, juggling schedules, and missing loved ones who aren’t with us anymore. Nearly half even say that stress gets in the way of enjoying the season at all. (I’ve had years where I felt exactly like that curbside tree… dried out and missing half the ornaments.)

Here’s the interesting thing: most of us don’t actually want more—more gifts, more plans, more “perfect.” We want connection. Meaning. A holiday that leaves us with something besides relief that it’s over.

The good news? We get to choose what goes in the cart this year. We don’t need to chase every expectation or tradition to make the holidays meaningful. A few thoughtful decisions now can mean the difference between a holiday that drains us and one that fills us.

Measuring Holiday Value

Years ago, Jo Robinson and Jean C. Staeheli, authors of Unplug the Christmas Machine, interviewed families about what kids say they want for Christmas versus what they really need. On the surface: the newest gadgets, the trendy toy, something with flashing lights and a charger. Underneath all that noise, kids consistently wanted four things:

  1. Relaxed and loving time with family
  2. Realistic expectations about gifts
  3. An evenly paced holiday season
  4. Reliable family traditions

And honestly? Most adults want the same thing. We’ve just become better at hiding it behind wrapping paper, to-do lists, and “free shipping” justifications.

If we’re honest, most of us aren’t chasing more stuff. We’re craving margin. Connection. A holiday that feels meaningful instead of mechanical. A season that doesn’t leave us exhausted, financially stretched, or quietly relieved when it’s finally over.

Try this experiment this year: before committing to a plan, purchase, or tradition, hold it up to those four values. Does it support them? Or compete with them?

  • If it brings ease, meaning, or connection, it may belong.
  • If it brings stress, strain, or obligation, it’s worth reconsidering.

Because the goal isn’t to do more. The goal is to make room for what matters.

1. Relaxed Time With People You Love

If there’s one place worth investing your limited holiday energy, it’s here. Happiness isn’t about things. It’s about meaningful connection. And unlike the perfect gift or a perfectly folded napkin, connection doesn’t require perfection. Just presence.

A small shift can make a big difference: schedule it. Treat it like a meeting or a doctor’s appointment. Not “maybe.” Not “if we have time.” Make it a priority. Four appointments is a good start.

Then fill those moments intentionally:

  • Find a need and quietly fill it. Local families, food banks, shelters, or school supply drives all welcome a small gesture. Invite kids or grandkids to help. It shapes their hearts more than any wrapped toy.
  • Enjoy one-on-one time. Toddlers, teenagers, or grown children: even a walk, a puzzle, or a coffee errand counts.
  • Make something together. Crafts aren’t about glue sticks and glitter. They’re memory-makers. Need inspiration? FunFamilyCrafts.com has tons of ideas using things you likely already have tucked in a drawer.
  • Reach out to someone lonely. Handwritten cards, phone calls, visits, or a batch of cookies can remind someone they matter.

Simplify here first. Meaningful moments start with a calendar entry and the willingness to show up.

2. Realistic Gift Expectations That Reduce Stress

Much of the holiday pressure comes not from giving but from expectations. Somewhere along the way, gifts became a competitive sport and it’s exhausting.

Reset: your holiday doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s. Not your childhood memories, not your neighbor’s Instagram, not the commercials promising matching PJs and ceiling-height trees.

If gift-giving stretches your budget, energy, or peace, set boundaries. Then pick an approach that works for you:

  • Make it yourself. Baking mixes, spice blends, homemade granola, bath salts, or hand cream get used, enjoyed, and not shoved in a closet. (Bonus: charming in a recycled jar with a handwritten label.) Check out 10 Easy Homemade Gift Ideas Under $10.
  • No-New-Gift Challenge. Give only items you already own: books, puzzles, games, scarves. It sparks creativity, saves money, and avoids clutter.
  • Swap instead of buy. Toy or game swaps can feel like Christmas morning without the receipt. Quick wipe-down, creative wrapping, feels brand-new.
  • Give time or service. Coupons are simple but often most appreciated:
    • “I’ll shovel your driveway after the next storm.”
    • “One homemade meal of your choice.”
    • “Coffee date on me.”
    • “I’ll fix that squeaky door.”

The heart of gift-giving isn’t size or cost. It’s meaning. Sometimes the most meaningful gifts aren’t in stores at all.

3. An Evenly Paced Holiday Season

A calm, steady holiday season doesn’t happen by accident. It happens with practical planning. Not perfection, not color-coded spreadsheets, but enough structure to breathe easier.

  • Make and freeze meals. Soups, casseroles, breakfast bakes, and dump chicken recipes all freeze well. Reheat, sit down, and skip the drive-thru chaos.
  • Use the envelope method. Simple, surprisingly effective:
    • One envelope per person.
    • Write their name and spending limit.
    • Put cash inside.
    • When it’s empty, shopping is done.

Well-paced holidays aren’t about doing less. They’re about doing what matters at a speed that lets you enjoy it.

4. Reliable Family Traditions

Traditions anchor a season that can otherwise feel unpredictable. Anything repeated year after year counts, even a new tradition you plan to continue.

  • Make a list. Celebrate favorite traditions and add to them thoughtfully. Over time, these rituals connect generations.
  • Honor heritage. Teach kids family foods, songs, and customs. More than a meal or tune. It’s a living link to your roots.
  • Surprise and delight. Try your “Annual Christmas Lights, Pajama Caper Drive.” PJs on, teeth brushed, blankets packed, tour your neighborhood, vote on your favorite display, and thank the homeowners for “brightening” your season.
  • Light up their rooms. Santa’s elves string a few lights when no one’s looking. Tiny, magical, unforgettable.

Reliable traditions create joy, stability, and belonging year after year.

Memories

What we really want for Christmas, kids and adults alike, can’t be bought. Sure, gifts are fun, but their thrill fades quickly. The stories retold, the laughs shared, the small acts of giving, and the traditions repeated. That’s what lasts.

Focus on these moments, not the items under the tree. Show children, nieces, nephews, or friends that the holiday isn’t measured in price tags or Pinterest-perfect displays. It’s measured in time together, acts of giving, and rituals that make your family your family.

This year, give yourself permission to slow down, simplify, and savor. Memories are the real treasures and the ones no one can ever return.

 

Question: What’s one holiday tradition you’d never give up, even if life got simpler? Share in the comments below.

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7 replies
  2. Lori Hatcher says:

    Mary,
    This is the loveliest Christmas post I’ve seen. So many great ideas. Sweet, simple, and all about the spirit of Christmas. Well done

    Reply
  3. Alice says:

    Many work places have a Secret Santa event. At one of my former jobs, we decided to do this instead. Everyone contributed the set $ amount and gave it to charity. We chose a nearby children’s hospital.

    Reply
  4. Theresa Hardy says:

    I wrote down favorite memories I had with someone and put them on little slips of paper in a jar. When they needed a pick-me-up they could grab one to be reminded of how much they are loved.

    Reply
  5. Teri says:

    Merry Christmas Mary! and thanks for all you do to help make things more beautiful, cost effective and convenient for all of us throughout the year. I cannot tell you how many of your ideas have helped me throughout the decades! God bless you and your family.

    Reply
  6. Lina Miller says:

    One of our favorite Christmas Day traditions is each person waking up to a stack of library books. The books have been requested by each family member, but “Santa” augments the collection with books pertinent to each person’s interests. Since all our extended family lives far away, Christmas Day involves eating leftover Christmas Eve food and reading in our jammies.

    Reply

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