Help! I’m Too Tired to Cook
Some time ago, I got a letter that took my mind back to the years when our boys were small, and I was too busy, too tired, and too stressed to cook. From her opening words, I could so identify with Carly and the situation she finds herself.
Dear Mary: I know where the money is leaking out of our household: Fast food. We are expecting our fourth child, and I am so bushed at the end of the day, we get take-out two or three times a week. What can I do? It gets to be dinnertime, and out comes the app and the car keys. It’s all I can do to just get through the day. Carly
Dear Carly: The last thing you need is someone to tell you to get a grip and plan ahead. So I won’t. Instead, I’m going to tell you what worked for me when I was in your situation (two boys, 17 months apart) and a few things I’ve learned since.
Five-menu rotation
Come up with five simple menus you know your family will eat, one for each night of the week. These don’t have to be gourmet or anything fancy at all. Example: Monday: Spaghetti, salad and bread. Tuesday: Meatloaf, baked potatoes, green beans, and so on.
Ask your husband to handle one weekend dinner and give it a name like Daddy’s Delicious Dinner or let the kids give it a title.
That leaves one Friday Family Fun Night or some other reason to order in pizza.
Post your weekly menu on the refrigerator. Now, everyone knows what to expect, including you. This will simplify your grocery shopping, too.
As the children get older and you get more courageous you can expand your repertoire and get the kids involved in the kitchen, too. But for now, stick to the five-menu rotation.
Set the table
I know you’ll think this is nutty, but it works. If you have the space, set the dinner table for the next day before you go to bed at night. Waking up to a nicely set table sends a silent message that dinner is so important, we eat around a table—not in front of the TV. And it will help you to start thinking about dinner long before you run out of steam.
Hint: Even a five-year-old can learn to set the table, so delegate.
Shine the sink
I learned this from Marla Cilley, author of Sink Reflections. Before you go to bed, clear out the sink of everything (either wash the dishes or load them in the dishwasher), scrub, rinse well, and then shine it with a towel. Five minutes to a new attitude.
There really is something magical about waking up in the morning to an empty, clean, and shining sink, no matter what condition the rest of the house is in.
World’s most important profession
Surely there’s no more important or difficult job in the entire world than being a mom to four young children. And nothing more rewarding. Make dinnertime an anchor in your day now while your kids are young. The tradition will come back to bless you as your children get older.
Even though they may never tell you, dinnertime together will become something your family knows they can count on in an otherwise uncertain world. So enjoy these precious days and take it from me: It gets easier.
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stir fry is an overlooked way to a quick meal – especially if you prep ahead. cut meat and veggies into bit sized pieces. no wok is required. heat skillet to med-high heat and have some oil in it – not too much. throw in root veggies and stir for a couple minutes, then softer veggies and meat. finally throw in rice and/or pasta – any COOKED rice or pasta will do. one of our faves is just garlic and onion with whatever veggies and meat, then peanuts and spaghetti and sprinkle with shredded parmesan. this works well with any leftover veggies/meat also.
ALSO – SLICE bagels, or older bread, smear with some butter, sprinkle with garlic salt (or not), spoon with a bit of leftover veggie/meat (this uses up EVERYTHING IN THE FRIG), top with some shredded cheese and pop under the broiler or toaster oven until heated thru. my kids will eat anything prepared on a bagel this way – even food they dislike. just name it something else interesting. we clean out the frig on fridays with this method.
Hi Mary,
Me again. I just want to thank you for a great suggestion w/leftover pizza. And you were absolutely right: it tastes just like fresh. We sometimes get a pizza from our local Harris Teeter on mondays when it’s 8.99 and it’s huge. You had a “recipe” to reheat on the stove for 8 or so minutes on low and covered. ours takes about 14 minutes (now that we do it right, LOL) and it’s fabulous. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! and it’s 2-4 lunches during the week so very economical and no effort!! We love you!!
My job as a kid was washing the dinner dishes so we had a clean sink in the morning. My paternal grandmother had six kids and used the repeated meals – my aunt and uncles said you could tell what day of the week it was by what was for dinner. Sundays were roasts or fried chicken. AND she baked all of their bread, even hamburger buns! Go Gramma!
Single mom, 3 kids, work, school, ALL maint by myself — My plan was Sunday afternoon (after church) I would often cook for most of the week. As above, mainly soups, stews, casseroles and crock pot ingredients. One night was always leftovers to clean the fridge which the kids loved as they could pick what they wanted. One night a month we would go out for dinner – sit down but simple – and when young they could often share a meal to keep expense down, but wanted them to have the experience of restaurant manners, tipping, budgeting so “water all around” (I was often broke and needed to save for that). One big thing that helped – purchased subscription to “Taste of Home” so the kids could choose what they wanted to try and eat w/o complaint at least once. Gave me ideas, grocery list, and excited family.
A thought for Fridays is to also buy frozen pizzas at the store when you grocery shop and keep them on hand. Many of these are cheaper than take out and sometimes just as good! You can always doctor them up in minutes with more cheese, oregano, etc. Pop in the oven for 20 minutes! Fast food without the cost!
Mary! This is where your “Dump Chicken” post would help this young Mom!
Well, yes it would! Here is it: Budget Bites: More than a Dozen Ways to Make Dump Chicken
Having a simple 4-week meal rotations saved our sanity & wallet when raising 3 active sons while both of us worked full time. All 3 had different sensory issues, so I had to get creative while also not cooking different meals. Every meal had at least 2 items each son would like. No crockpots for us, as 1 could not tolerate food touching much less mixed together. We ate in the dining room on weekends, using tablecloth & good china. Mon-Fri meals were eaten at our kitchen table. Here is what we did for probably 20 years:
Saturday — roast + all fixings
Sunday — different roast with all fixings
Monday — something with chicken breasts
Tuesday — Saturday leftovers
Wednesday — either BBQ or something with grind beef
Thursday — Sunday leftovers
Friday — cereal or a breakfast-type meal (I did not cook on Friday)
Simple, easy meals & all were fed.
I came up with my own formula in that each day of the week had a designated category. Monday casserole, Tuesday breakfast, and so on with Saturday pizza, Sunday pasta. I then took 13 index cards and filled them in with the foods I knew my family would eat in each of those categories. Those cards rotated 4 times a year so I had an entire year’s meals planned and my brain would not explode. Life became so much easier, shopping wasn’t a nightmare and the meals could be adjusted as needed (holidays, birthdays, etc). Now as retirees I make several meals at a time (crockpot is my best friend still) & freeze in portion sized bags. Heat em and eat em. Only have to cook once a month. Just add salad, rice, bread, whatever. No muss no fuss.
I agree with the limited menu. It’s really helped me in the past and has an incredible impact on your stress levels. It’s even better if they’re mains you can double so there’s a meal in the freezer for emergencies. Plus, don’t forget, scrambled eggs on toast can be dinner, too. 🙂
I had two young children under 10 and a husband who wanted my time. I was working part time 5 days a week in the mornings, teaching 2 adult ed sewing classes during the afternoon, and 2 adult ed classes at night. Going to all weekend classes for a teaching credential, a mid week history class. . .I had 15 hours a week to cook, clean, laundry, etc. The only thing that worked for me was to cook tomorrows dinner tonight, reheat what I cooked the night before. I even made my own sourdough bread, if you can believe this. A limited menu of favorites would have been really a nice thing to know. Maybe this will help Anara