The 10/10/10 Rule Every Overthinker Needs to Try Today
I nearly ran out of gas because I didn’t want to be late for a meeting. Ten miles from home, my tank hit empty, and I had a decision to make: stop and risk showing up a few minutes late, or keep driving and risk needing a tow truck. Here’s the three-question trick that got me to the meeting on time, and why I now use it for practically everything else too.
Here’s something I’ve noticed about my worst decisions, financial and otherwise. They almost never happen when I’m calm. They happen when I’m mad, anxious, or wanting something so bad I can’t see straight.
The good news? Those feelings fade fast. The bad news? The decisions we make while feeling them don’t fade nearly as quick. Our grandparents had the right idea with “sleep on it.” But sleeping on it only works if the decision can wait until morning. Mine couldn’t. I needed something I could use on the spot, standing at a gas pump with the clock ticking.
What is 10/10/10, anyway?
A business writer named Suzy Welch figured this one out before I did. She’s written for Bloomberg Businessweek, and a while back she turned her whole decision-making system into a book called 10-10-10: A Life-Transforming Idea.
The idea is almost embarrassingly simple. Before you act on a decision, ask yourself three questions:
- How will I feel about this 10 minutes from now?
- How about 10 months from now?
- How about 10 years from now?
That’s it. No spreadsheet. No pro-con list. Just three questions that pull you out of whatever emotion is running the show and hand you a little distance.
The night my gas gauge hit empty
Picture it: I’m ten miles from home, on my way to a meeting, and the fuel gauge is sitting on E. The “miles to empty” readout says 26 miles left, which sounds like plenty until you remember that number is a guess, not a promise.
Stop for gas, and I’m probably late. Don’t stop, and I might be stuck on the shoulder waiting an hour for AAA to show up with a gallon of gas while traffic rolls past. Neither option was appealing. So I ran both through the three questions.
If I stop for gas: 10 minutes from now: relieved, already rehearsing my “sorry I’m late.” 10 months from now: I won’t even remember this happened. 10 years from now: What gas station? I won’t have a clue what I’m talking about.
If I don’t stop: 10 minutes from now: anxious, watching that mileage number drop, arguing with my own gas tank. 10 months from now: annoyed I let something so avoidable turn into a whole ordeal. 10 years from now: still shaking my head at how dumb it was to leave the house on fumes.
I stopped for gas. Walked into that meeting five minutes late, apologized once, and nobody even blinked. I knew I’d made the right call before I’d even turned the key back on.
Why this works, even when you’re not running on fumes
Why does asking three questions do so much? Because it drags you out of whatever’s happening in your body right now, the adrenaline, the irritation, whatever it is, and makes you check in with the person who’ll actually be living with this decision later.
Most of my bad money decisions came from skipping that step entirely. I bought something because I was tired of feeling broke, not because I needed it. I fired off an email because I was mad, not because it was smart. In the moment, ten minutes felt like forever. Ten years later, I couldn’t tell you what I was even upset about.
These days, when an unplanned expense shows up, an urge to eat out because I’m frustrated, an “emergency” that’s really just impatience, I run it through 10/10/10 before I touch my Contingency Fund. Half the time, the urge to spend disappears before I even get to question three.
Where I use this the most
Where does this actually show up in a regular week? Practically everywhere, once you start looking.
- Deciding whether tonight’s dinner is worth a restaurant bill or a pantry raid.
- Weighing a big house project, like the remodel I keep threatening to start.
- Cooling off before I send a reply I’d regret.
- Deciding if a “sale” is a real deal, or just a feeling.
Nothing here is life-or-death. That’s the point. It’s the small, everyday decisions, made a dozen times a day, that quietly shape a budget or a mood far more than the rare big one ever does.
How to try it yourself
- Catch yourself mid-decision when you notice a strong feeling attached to it.
- Ask the three questions. Out loud, if you have to.
- Notice which answer actually changes your mind. Usually it’s the ten-year one.
- Act on that answer, not the one your mood is pushing for.
Next time a decision has you all worked up, try it. Ask yourself how you’ll feel in 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years. You might just save yourself a phone call to AAA. Or worse.
Question: What’s the last decision you wish you’d slept on a little longer? Share in the comments below.
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I’m still thinking about it, lol! I’m trying to consider whether investing in a home remodel is worth it or not. Being retired means I have limited income, and although comfortable, I’m certainly not rich. The remodel would gut most of my savings. However, it would increase the value of my home. At my age, I may not be around that much longer. Spend on myself, or leave an inheritance? Not an easy choice.
A late-night stroll through TEMU resulting in two items purchased. Almost before I finished clicking, I knew it was a mistake and I regretted it. So…when the items arrived, I immediately sent them back unopened. I now know I cannot order ANYTHING when I’m in bed. LOL
‘waiting an hour for AAA to show up ‘. only an hour? i’ve never had them show up in less than 4.