The Night Old Faithful Visited San Francisco

Over the past three decades, I’ve logged more than 1.4 million air miles for book tours, speaking events, and television and radio shows. It’s been and continues to be great fun, and I have loved almost every moment. As you might imagine, many funny things have happened to me on my travels. But none can top what happened in San Francisco.

The year was 1998, and I found myself in San Francisco, ready to dazzle the local TV audience with my brilliant household tips, straight from the pages of my monthly newsletter. The producer, in all her wisdom, asked me to bring props.

So, like any rational person, I checked into one of those ritzy, “we’ve-been-here-since-the-gold-rush” hotels and made a beeline for the nearest discount warehouse. My mission? To buy the largest tubs of baking soda, white vinegar, and every other cleaning concoction under the sun. Because, clearly, hauling them on a plane would’ve been a joy I wasn’t quite ready to experience.

Back in my hotel room, it dawned on me that I didn’t actually need the contents—just the containers. And in a flash of what can only be described as misguided brilliance, I decided to lighten my load.

First up, the baking soda. I dumped the whole box down the toilet, and as it swirled away. A while later, I followed it with a gallon of vinegar. It was strangely satisfying, like the home ec version of mixing Mentos with Diet Coke.

Next, I emptied the salt into a plastic bag and tossed it in the trash, then poured a quart of rubbing alcohol down the sink. With my now-empty props packed, I strutted out for dinner, feeling like the Einstein of hotel travel.

Fast forward a few hours. I returned to my room, fully prepared to unwind with some mindless TV. But instead, I was greeted by the sound of rushing water—a sound that quickly escalated to panic-inducing levels.

I dashed to the bathroom just in time to witness a spectacle straight out of Old Faithful’s playbook. Water was shooting out of the toilet like a geyser, missing the ceiling by mere inches. I froze in horror, wondering if this was how I’d go down in history: the woman who drowned in a five-star hotel’s bathroom.

When the water finally ceased its relentless assault, I noticed something even worse. A smell—no, a stench—began to permeate the room. Every foul odor lurking in San Francisco’s underbelly seemed to have decided to make a grand entrance.

Panicked, I flung open the door and joined the hotel guests in the hallway, a motley crew of nightgowns, bathrobes, and bed hair, all of us gasping for breath like extras in a disaster movie.

The hotel engineer eventually arrived, took one look at the chaos, and—would you believe it—burst out laughing. Apparently, in my quest to be clever, I had single-handedly unclogged the hotel’s ancient plumbing system. No permanent damage was done unless you count the trauma of nearly being taken out by a rogue toilet. I’d like to think I did them a favor—though no one’s put up a plaque in my honor just yet.

THIS: 6 Ways to Unclog a Drain Without Caustic Chemicals

How to Keep the Drains Clear

So, what’s the moral of this story? A little household tip for you: to clear a sluggish drain, pour one cup of baking soda down it, followed by a cup of white vinegar. Watch the show as it bubbles and fizzes, then let it sit for a few hours or overnight if you’re feeling patient. Finish it off with a large pot of extremely hot water. Just be careful with porcelain sinks—cracking one of those is a whole other story. And if your pipes are as old as the hills, maybe dial it back a bit, cutting the quantities of baking soda and vinegar in half to be on the safe side.

And that, dear friends, is how you keep your drains clear and your travel adventures unforgettable.