What Do You Need to Be Happy?
When a University of Michigan survey asked people what they believed would improve their quality of life the answer given most often was, “More money.”
In their book The Day America Told the Truth, James Patterson and Peter Kim asked, “If you could change one thing about your life what would it be?” The number one response at 64 percent was, “Greater wealth.”
A University of Southern California study found that greater wealth didn’t translate into greater happiness for many of the 1,500 people surveyed annually over three decades. USC economist Richard Easterlin said, “Many people are under the illusion that the more money we make, the happier we’ll be,” but, according to the study, that isn’t true.
We know from other well-respected studies that fewer Americans are “very happy” today than in the 1950s despite having far more money, bigger homes and more stuff. In 1950 there were 3,000 shopping malls in this country, by 2000 there were 45,025. We have more money, we have more stuff but clearly, greater affluence has not translated to greater happiness.
Happy, but not a lot happier
Are there any circumstances under which more money will bring happiness? The truth is that if you are living in poverty, having more money will make a positive difference in your quality of life and yes, you will be happier. But once your basic material needs are met, many experts agree that having more money might be nice but it’s not likely to make you a lot happier, if at all.
What we think, what we do
The problem is that most of us just don’t know what we really believe about money. We can’t live with it but we can’t live without it, either. We think that more of it will fix all of our problems even though we prove month after month that aren’t very good at managing what we already have.
Happiness or contentment?
A recent gathering of friends at my home stirred up some provoking conversation. One person suggested that we have a confusion of terms. When people say they want happiness, what they’re really looking for is contentment—that feeling of satisfaction that does not go away once the carpet is a few months old, the car has lost its “newness” or the holidays are over.
He went on to suggest that happiness is the result of a “happening” and when the event is over, the happiness also goes away. The contentment we seek comes with satisfaction and fulfillment that are not tied to specific events but rather based upon things that do not change like warm family relationships, connecting to God and expressions of sincere gratitude.
I think our resident philosopher is really on to something. If nothing else he certainly made all of us think.
What would it take?
So where do you weigh in on this subject? What do you need to be happy? In your heart do you believe that more money would make you happier? How much would it take to make you really happy? Or have you discovered a source of true contentment and found it is not tied to money?
Published 2013; Updated and republished 11-2-23
More from Everyday Cheapskate
https://www.everydaycheapskate.com/wp-content/uploads/20240501-daily-habits-tracker-on-wood-desk-with-green-plants.png
800
1200
Mary Hunt
https://www.everydaycheapskate.com/wp-content/uploads/EC-Logo-by-Mary-Hunt-Tagline-Trimmed.png
Mary Hunt2024-05-01 00:28:582019-09-02 12:47:517 Daily Habits of the Wealthy (Plus, Free Habit Tracker Printable)
https://www.everydaycheapskate.com/wp-content/uploads/20240428-dream-car-saving-money-big-ticket-purchase.png
800
1200
Mary Hunt
https://www.everydaycheapskate.com/wp-content/uploads/EC-Logo-by-Mary-Hunt-Tagline-Trimmed.png
Mary Hunt2024-04-28 00:01:382024-04-20 14:23:56Saving Money for Big-Ticket Items (with Free Savings Goal Calculator)
https://www.everydaycheapskate.com/wp-content/uploads/20240422-money-makeover.png
800
1200
Mary Hunt
https://www.everydaycheapskate.com/wp-content/uploads/EC-Logo-by-Mary-Hunt-Tagline-Trimmed.png
Mary Hunt2024-04-23 00:01:292021-03-08 06:58:41Broke and In Debt? How to Give Yourself an Extreme Money Makeover
https://www.everydaycheapskate.com/wp-content/uploads/20240417-Person-Feeling-discouraged-Over-Credit-Bills.png
800
1200
Mary Hunt
https://www.everydaycheapskate.com/wp-content/uploads/EC-Logo-by-Mary-Hunt-Tagline-Trimmed.png
Mary Hunt2024-04-17 00:03:212024-04-04 16:19:29How to Beat Discouragement to Get Through Tough Times Stronger Than Ever
https://www.everydaycheapskate.com/wp-content/uploads/20240414-a-fiddle-leaf-fig-whose-leaves-are-made-out-of-dollar-bills-in-a-midcentury-home-low-risk-investment.png
800
1200
Mary Hunt
https://www.everydaycheapskate.com/wp-content/uploads/EC-Logo-by-Mary-Hunt-Tagline-Trimmed.png
Mary Hunt2024-04-14 00:05:112024-04-13 14:58:27The Ultimate High-Yield, Guaranteed, Risk-Free Investment
https://www.everydaycheapskate.com/wp-content/uploads/20240319-garden-seed-starting-table-scape-succulents-tools-gardener.png
800
1200
Mary Hunt
https://www.everydaycheapskate.com/wp-content/uploads/EC-Logo-by-Mary-Hunt-Tagline-Trimmed.png
Mary Hunt2024-03-19 00:16:222024-03-18 22:53:3323 Genius Gardening Hacks I Wish I’d Known Sooner, Approved by Experts
https://www.everydaycheapskate.com/wp-content/uploads/20240306-Female-hiker-sets-backpack-down-on-grassy-hillside.png
800
1200
Mary Hunt
https://www.everydaycheapskate.com/wp-content/uploads/EC-Logo-by-Mary-Hunt-Tagline-Trimmed.png
Mary Hunt2024-03-06 02:23:232024-03-02 16:05:35Feeling Discouraged? Lighten Your Load
https://www.everydaycheapskate.com/wp-content/uploads/just-made-a-big-blunder.jpg
833
1310
Mary Hunt
https://www.everydaycheapskate.com/wp-content/uploads/EC-Logo-by-Mary-Hunt-Tagline-Trimmed.png
Mary Hunt2024-01-13 18:01:262024-02-11 21:42:4710 Purchasing Mistakes Keeping You Broke and in Debt
https://www.everydaycheapskate.com/wp-content/uploads/Christmas-assess.jpg
833
1310
Mary Hunt
https://www.everydaycheapskate.com/wp-content/uploads/EC-Logo-by-Mary-Hunt-Tagline-Trimmed.png
Mary Hunt2023-12-28 09:14:462023-12-28 10:37:03With the Holidays Still Fresh in Mind
I believe I am a very grateful person. I am thankful for everything I have in my life. We are not rich, in fact we have a heavy debt load. I know that eventually I will get it paid off. What really makes me unhappy is living with a spouse who is negative, angry, and insuting. I feel distraught because this is my life. I often wonder how I would feel being away from this person or should this not effect my happiness.
I grew up poor. So poor, that my Mom would send me into those metal clothing donation boxes to get stuff out for us. Thank goodness, I am in a much different financial place now, 40 years later, thanks to the teamwork of my husband and I. We have been very fortunate to have lots of material objects that many others cannot; even a lake house! Those items have made us happy for a short period, then the excitement of the purchase is over and you need something else.
But I’m going to tell you that the one thing that has made me happy is my dog. I couldn’t understand why I was so miserable, as I had everything I needed, and then some. My Dr. prescribed an anti-depressant after I told her I was in bed most of the day under the covers. What the heck was wrong with me? That helped a little by loosening me up a little bit. But then I adopted a puppy from the Humane Society in my county and every day since then, I am happy! I am greeted by this little face that is unconditionally devoted to me. You can’t be upset when you see him. You should always adopt a puppy or dog with the same energy level as your and/or your family. Also watch the Dog Whisperer to know how to train your dog. But honestly, if it weren’t for dogs, I’d be a miserable mess!
I am unable to care for my own hair due to a handicap. That means I must rely on the compassion of others to have my needs met. Because people will usually do more for money than for any other reason, I think more money would definitely improve my situation.
Look at “Greater Wealth” not as having more money in your paycheck. But, having more discretionary income with what you make currently. This is when I became happier, then (only then)as I added more wealth to the top end did my satisfaction increase exponentially.
I have long worked to be “content” rather than “happy”. Happiness comes from the verb root “to happen”, which to me means being present and in the moment, good or bad, rather than have a smile on my face all the time. Contentment allows me to reflect on past good times to help me through any present hard times. “Contentment” with my life, regardless of what comes, feels more mature, more spiritual, more healthy.
Truly a healthy family, wonderful friends, happy marriage and strong faith and belief in Jesus and salvation are the most important factors for complete happiness.
I do not believe that money and just more money are the ways to happiness, but it sure seems t help! It would be nice to have enough money so that you could travel, buy a car when needed, fix home repairs or remodel the home as needed, give to charities and donate to churces and worthy causes without having to plan so much or think about it so far in advance.
From – A Faithful subscriber
I’ve never seen a u-haul behind a Hearse. Stuff means absolutely nothing. I find that true happiness comes from giving back. It brings such contentment and joy to know that you’ve helped someone in some way. Twenty five years ago I found myself stripped of everything including my self-esteem. Through my spiritual journey with the help of a Bible believing church, strangers were so kind, caring and giving. I paid it forward and never have regretted a day. I am truly blessed.
Define “wealthy”! Wealthy to me is paying all my bills and having some money left over for treats like eating at a restaurant or purchasing something wanted but not needed!
I have been married 30 years. We have lived with little and we have lived with more. We never lived above our means. We have one adult child married, one about to graduate from college and another one soon making his own way. We are able to enjoy life because we are not in debt, we are able to give (have always tithed). God has always been faithful no matter how much money we had. We planned the best we could and knew how. If our income went down drastically, we would tighten our belts. We have learned to be content with what we have. Family is very important to us and our faith in Jesus is most important. Money does not bring happiness. Without the Lord, there will always be a void. We live in a generation where people think they have to have everything now. A little struggling never hurt anyone. That is how you learn and grow. We have savings, an emergency fund and retirement accounts. But you know what, it could all go tomorrow. My trust and hope is in the Lord and He alone!
Excellent article! I also find many people of faith have an advantage of knowing joy (unconditional), which is very different from happiness (conditional). I think what lies at the crux of many needless things we do is based on what we perceive society dictates as right or the myriad of luxurious images/messages that appear to be the norm, leaving one feeling empty. In Biblespeak, we’re still worshiping those images. Besides your great advice, I’ve also found a site, optimindshaping.com that offers free feedback and a publication called “Easy Life Skills You Never Learned in School”. If anything, it helps de-clutter the meaningless and get down to what is meaningful to you, personally.