What Do You Need to Be Happy?
When a University of Michigan survey asked people what they believed would improve their quality of life the answer given most often was, “More money.”
In their book The Day America Told the Truth, James Patterson and Peter Kim asked, “If you could change one thing about your life what would it be?” The number one response at 64 percent was, “Greater wealth.”
A University of Southern California study found that greater wealth didn’t translate into greater happiness for many of the 1,500 people surveyed annually over three decades. USC economist Richard Easterlin said, “Many people are under the illusion that the more money we make, the happier we’ll be,” but, according to the study, that isn’t true.
We know from other well-respected studies that fewer Americans are “very happy” today than in the 1950s despite having far more money, bigger homes and more stuff. In 1950 there were 3,000 shopping malls in this country, by 2000 there were 45,025. We have more money, we have more stuff but clearly, greater affluence has not translated to greater happiness.
Happy, but not a lot happier
Are there any circumstances under which more money will bring happiness? The truth is that if you are living in poverty, having more money will make a positive difference in your quality of life and yes, you will be happier. But once your basic material needs are met, many experts agree that having more money might be nice but it’s not likely to make you a lot happier, if at all.
What we think, what we do
The problem is that most of us just don’t know what we really believe about money. We can’t live with it but we can’t live without it, either. We think that more of it will fix all of our problems even though we prove month after month that aren’t very good at managing what we already have.
Happiness or contentment?
A recent gathering of friends at my home stirred up some provoking conversation. One person suggested that we have a confusion of terms. When people say they want happiness, what they’re really looking for is contentment—that feeling of satisfaction that does not go away once the carpet is a few months old, the car has lost its “newness” or the holidays are over.
He went on to suggest that happiness is the result of a “happening” and when the event is over, the happiness also goes away. The contentment we seek comes with satisfaction and fulfillment that are not tied to specific events but rather based upon things that do not change like warm family relationships, connecting to God and expressions of sincere gratitude.
I think our resident philosopher is really on to something. If nothing else he certainly made all of us think.
What would it take?
So where do you weigh in on this subject? What do you need to be happy? In your heart do you believe that more money would make you happier? How much would it take to make you really happy? Or have you discovered a source of true contentment and found it is not tied to money?
Published 2013; Updated and republished 11-2-23
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I agree with your “resident philosopher” that when stuff makes you happy like money that you don’t stay happy after it is gone. Happiness is contentment that lasts like family and God.
I’m not motivated by money, belongings, or social status; I’m comfortable with what I have. My happiness comes from my family; both immediate and extended, and friends. They are what really matter.
What makes me happy is a warm bed especially when I can sleep late, my children to be healthy and happy, inner peace and gratitude for what I have, a fulfilling job as a special education teacher, a good cup of coffee, cooking dinner with my wonderful boyfriend, being greeted by my dogs when I come home, a good movie or book on a rainy day, etc…I’ve been blessed with a manageable income, which gives us what we need and then some—without the worry of “keeping up with the Jones'” materially. Also, money in the bank and being debt free makes my HAPPY!!
I have started at the bottom of my career and worked my way upward. I have had varied income depending on where my husband’s job took us next. Regardless of income, what matters most is the ability to manage the money that God has allowed us to have, wisely . If one does not manage their money wisely, then money will manage you and make life miserable. More money will not solve the problem. What makes me happy is knowing that God, family, friends, coworkers, and of course, you Mary are there to support me in my life’s decisions.
I agree with your friend. Being content with what you have is happiness to me. I have a wonderful, hard working husband, two beautiful daughters (and handsome sons-in-law) and a terrific 6 month old grandson. Who could ask for more?
Mary,
I agree that what brings us the greatest joy and contentment is a good relationship with God and the joys of a wonderful family and friends. I also agree that enough money to care for basic needs and a contingency fund for financial emergencies provides peace of mind. Having said that, I would also say that having more money could provide me more “happiness” in that I could experience the joys of contributing to my community in more ways that by merely volunteering. We live in a small river town long abandoned by the commerce, railroad, and riverboats that once made it a thriving place. How I would love to be able to build a community center/theatre for gatherings and the arts, a great coffee shop/book store, and to establish two or three clean businesses that could capitalize on this area’s beauty and provide employment opportunities for those who live here! I would landscape the entire town and give everyone who is too poor to do so the money for needed roofs and home repairs. Oh yes, having more money would help my town so much! It wouldn’t keep it going forever, of course, without the cooperation of others, but what possibilities there would be! Love to dream. . . .
I absolutely agree with you, Elizabeth.
I want more money, not just for the sake of having it but for what it provides: food, shelter, clothes, medical care, emergencies, the ability to travel, ect. And like you, I’d love to be able to contribute more than just my time to my community and the wider world. I love animals and I would want to do something that helps and prevents animal homelessness and cruelty.
Life is also about experiences and if you want to things like travel, take recreational lessons, go to school for your second bachelor’s or master’s, it all takes $.
And the peace of mind of having enough money is HUGE. Peace of mind is a kind of happiness, so yes, money can buy some kinds of happiness. I would be a lot happier right now if I didn’t have to look for a miserable job, just for a paycheck, and a small one at that. I could think of a million better ways to use my time than slave away at some job that does nothing to fulfill me. Who cares what your passions in life are if you can’t realistically make money or enough money from doing it.
Believing that happiness is really connected to happenings allows me to know that true joy comes only from resting in Jesus and the promises of His Word. Otherwise,in my pursuit of happiness, I will always be striving to either get something else onto or off of the throne of my heart usually not even realizing it. This is how Paul was able to say he has learned to be content in all situations.
probably already mentioned but good health and zero debt
As the word’s roots show, happiness is indeed dependent upon what’s happening around us. What we should seek is joy, which is independent of circumstances. In fact, it’s a fruit of God’s Spirit.
Less is everything. When I was in the military I could fit all I owned in a foot locker and take off at the drop of a hat.Then when I got my family we had a little house and nice small lot in a nice neighborhood. House was perfect, small mortgage payment, everything we needed. Like most, we got better jobs and wanted to upsize. We did. Now I have a huge house with alot of upkeep. Many more things to manage. We have been following Mary’s financial plan and are about out of any debt but was so much happier with just what we really needed. Now the kids have grown and left home and we have alot of responsibility. Wish from the beginning I had stayed pretty much the way we had it. We really were content. Traveled alot, nothing to worry about, everything always paid off. Now we are trying to downsize and it is hard because I paid so much for items that I never will get half for it.
Wish someone had sat me down and told me this in the beginning. I have learned alot.