Man-Jumping

Happiness Comes and Goes, Joy Is a Choice

The longer I live, the more convinced I become that it’s not the amount of money a person has, but what he or she does with it that makes the difference between a life of joy or one of misery.

Man-Jumping

Years ago, a friend of mine won the New York State Lottery, with guaranteed annual checks of $200,000 for 10 years. Two million dollars seemed too good to be true. Tony was over the moon with joy because he knew his days of financial misery were over. He could pay off all of his debts, and buy the car he needed so badly for his young family and a new home, too. Just like that, he was a millionaire. And, boy, was he happy. He couldn’t write those checks fast enough. He bought a new car the following weekend, and they bought their dream home, as well.

Here’s the problem: Tony had no idea how to manage the money. He didn’t think about state and federal taxes, which turned $200,000 a year into about $150,000. He didn’t understand that financing that new top-of-the-line luxury automobile over six years to preserve his cash meant gigantic new monthly payments. It didn’t dawn on him that going into a 30-year mortgage with the smallest down payment would turn his $800-a-month rent into a big, new $3,000 mortgage payment.

Of course, Tony felt more than able to shower his wife and kids with new clothes and trips to Disney World. Tony’s happiness was short-lived because his sudden wealth was something that happened to him, not an attitude that he chose. He let his emotions get the better of him and failed to make the right choices.

Kay Warren, in her book Choose Joy, says that joy is something we choose in spite of our circumstances. Happiness, she contends, is what happens to you, and it can come and go. But, says Warren, “If you’re going to experience joy, you must choose it—in spite of, even if, and in the middle of everything else.”

Tony found happiness, but he didn’t know how to choose joy. When his small financial problems were replaced with huge ones, his happiness vanished. In attempting to pay off all his debts, he managed to only move the problems to much bigger debts, both personally and for his struggling business. In the end, his misery escalated far beyond what he knew before his moment of happiness. He lost his business, filed for bankruptcy, and ended up paying alimony and child support after his marriage failed.

Today, no matter what situation you’re facing—be it something that makes you happy or a situation that has you down in the dumps—you have a choice: You can continue to live under that emotion or rise above your circumstances and choose joy.

If I could talk with Tony today, I am certain he would affirm wholeheartedly the message of Warren’s book: Choose joy, because happiness will never be enough!

Question: How do you “choose joy” each and every day? Share in the comments below.

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2 replies
  1. Teresa
    Teresa says:

    When I was a young girl and growing into my teens, my father worked on a construction crew with some men who were constant gripers. Their pay checks were never big enough, they were always out of money before pay day. They were sure my dad must be paid much more than they were because he never seemed to run out of money. Something my dad said then and often repeated to us at home has stuck with me all my life. “It’s not how much money you make. It’s how you manage what you make.” He and my mother chose to live frugally and below their income. There were not a lot of frills but there was little stress over bills. They chose joy in each other and in us children over the fleeting gratification of things.
    You are so right, Mary.

    Reply

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