A Mostly Complete Guide to Tipping During the Holiday Season

It is a social custom in this country to give cash gifts, known as tips or gratuities, during the holiday season. How this custom came to be I have no idea. Thankfully, there are no laws and no tipping police.

We see a plethora of tipping guidelines in newspapers, magazines, blogs and social media during the holidays. Always keep in mind these are editorial suggestions.

Some I’ve read include the garbage man, newspaper delivery person, mail carrier; the nanny, driver, and doorman; the housekeeper, delivery guy, the maid, the butler (don’t we all have one of those?), which for me begs the question:

What makes one service worthy of gratuities from its patrons while others—like grocery checkers, the nurse, and dental hygienist are not included?

Gratuities, if you plan to give any, need to be part of your holiday spending plan and that means you need to start thinking about it now. If you’re not sure, I offer my personal benchmark for your consideration: Can I afford to be without this person? I do not mean this in a monetary sense. By “afford to be without” I mean, do I want to face the future without this person’s services?

If you absolutely cannot bear the thought, then a tip is in order as an expression of gratitude for the service provided throughout the year and the fact that you depend heavily upon this person and how he or she makes your life better.

Garbage man

For me, the foregoing qualifier eliminates the garbage men (they travel in teams where we live). I wouldn’t have a clue who he is, to be honest. Some big robotic truck comes down our street and plucks the containers with a giant mechanical arm and dumps them. So if that guy quits his driving job I’m sure there are plenty of others willing to step up. His service is appreciated, but he personally is not essential in my life. No tip.

Hairdresser

This is a slightly different story. It does take a while to get in sync and after a couple of years, I’m there with Mallorie. I appreciate her, I count on her. I don’t have to guide or suggest. She just knows what to do. If she told me she’s moving out of state I’d be upset, wish her well, face the future with a heavy sigh, and attempt to find another as valuable. A $50 tip.

Yard guy

Yes, we have a landscape maintenance company that services our property. Being out of debt does have its perks. They do fine, but believe me if they go out of business I have my pick of about fifty others that will do the same thing. No tip.

Pest guy

We live in the middle of what must be the mother of all wasp colonies. We have had wasp problems since we bought this house. We get sprayed routinely during wasp season.

The company we have now is courteous and responsive, but so are other pest control services. We have this one because their price is about half of all others and the service is adequate. No tip.

Housekeeper

This is a luxury that has become a total necessity in my life. I find that my sanity is worth paying Raquel to clean my house twice a month.

She is an angel. A gift from on-high. Raquel is punctual, immaculate, trustworthy, and reliable. She has a key to my house. I would trust her with my grandchildren.

If she were to leave me I would be devastated. I could not replace her in a million years. I give her raises when she least expects it. It is the best money I spend in any given month.

I pray for her health, that she will live long and prosper. I want to be her favorite client so if someone somewhere ever says she can clean only one house—I want it to be mine! A $150 tip. Gladly.

Epilogue: We moved, I lost Raquel. I’ve given up finding any person or service to replace her housecleaning services, even by half. After five failed attempts, I have officially given up. Yep, it’s back to me. If you’re reading this Raquel, please know how much you are still missed. Every day I aspire to your standard of excellence. I just keep trying.

• MORE: Homemade Tub Tile n’ Shower Cleaner

Conventional standards

Okay, now that I have spouted off on my personal philosophy on holiday tipping, here is a more conventional tipping guide from so-called experts. Just make sure you take this information under advisement and then set your own guidelines that fit within your means and the desires of your heart.

Before we even get to dollar amounts, general guidelines suggest that you look at a number of factors such as:

• quality of service
• frequency of service
• how long you’ve used the service
• customs in your area
• your personal financial situation

There are no laws or even social standards when it comes to tipping—only customs and traditions.

As you determine what is right for you, keep in mind that you have already paid these people for services rendered.

Ask yourself: Am I particularly grateful because this person made my life easier this year or did more than required?

For those who rate a “Yes,” express your gratitude in a way that fits your ability, not according to what you think society expects or demands.

Following are a few commonly-accepted guidelines for your thoughtful consideration; however, keep in mind that social custom do vary from one region to another.

Postal carrier

The U.S. Postal Service forbids carriers from accepting cash, however, they may accept a nominal item with a value under $20, like cookies or chocolate, for example. If you are very pleased with your service, a letter of appreciation to the supervisor would be in order.

Babysitter

For a regular sitter on whom you depend and who consistently gives excellent care, Martha Stewart suggests a tip equal to two nights’ pay and a small gift from the children.

Trash collector

If you actually know the person who collects your trash (many neighborhoods like mine have gone to robotic trucks with an equally robotic-like driver who never leaves the cab and for the record never waves back when I wave to acknowledge my thanks) I am told that a tip of $15 to $20 is customary. Or a 6-pack.

Newspaper delivery

If you have daily delivery and you know who your delivery person is, $15 to $25. Weekend only? $5 to $15. Yes it is archaic, but I’ll bet somewhere, someone still gets the newspaper delivered to the front porch.

Housekeeper

If you are happy with the service, the equivalent of up to one visit.

Hairdresser

Again, if you are happy with the service—even if your hairdresser is the owner of the salon—15 to 20 percent of the total bill on a typical visit (in addition to the tip you would normally leave for your last visit before the holidays) and a small gift. If you aren’t happy, find a new hairdresser.

Door personnel

If you live in a building with a single doorman a $25 to $100 tip is typical, more or less depending on how much this person assists you during the year. It really depends on the staff that works in your building and what they do (help with packages, hold items to be picked up, and that kind of thing). In New York City some people report tipping the doorman $500 or more.

Superintendent

If your building has a “super” on whom you depend, a tip is highly recommended—particularly if you are fond of that person answering your calls on the first ring. And you want your apartment to have heat in the winter and cooling in the summer. $20-$80.

In closing …

A monetary gift in any amount is one way to say thanks to service providers, but it is not the only way. Never underestimate the value of a handwritten note. Any expression of gratitude that comes from your heart is never wrong.

Updated and republished: 12-21-23

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